Getting Back With An Ex – 10 CONTROVERSIAL Rules To Follow

If you could get a second chance right now with your ex, would you take it? Depending on your answer, let me give you some guidance.

Despite the controversial nature of the question, getting back with an ex can actually work out well. You just have to do things properly this time around.

I know some "know it all's" are very vocal and completely despise this idea: 

"Why would you ever want to get back together with your ex?"

"Your ex is an ex for a reason".

To be completely honest, sometimes there is merit behind these arguments. 

There are occasions where two people just aren't a good fit and you are not meant to be together.

Now, I'm going to make a statement that I'm aware will most likely create some controversy:

Breakups almost never happen because two people just "aren't fit" for each other.

Starting Out

In my opinion, it's downright stupid to tell people: "don't try to get them back. Remember that your breakup happened for a reason".

I mean, in a sense they are right. You did break up for a reason. Here's the catch though:

9/10 times it was not a good reason.

Now,  let me give you an example:

A new relationship starts. Everything is wonderful and you just can't get over how you have found such an amazing person. You want to spend every waking second with them. Then eventually, everything starts to go downhill.

The key thing I want you to remember here is that at the start of your relationship, you two were very compatible and shared wonderful times together.

It's not a walk in the park to find someone who you can build such a deep connection with, so in my honest opinion, it's downright ignorant to tell people that they should never seek to get their ex back and just move on.

Most relationships die out well before they get to the "serious" stage so if you were there once, there is no reason why you absolutely couldn't get there with them again.

What if I told you that you can and most likely even should try to fix the issues that broke you apart if you really feel like they are that special someone?

Bottom line I'm getting to here:

You already have had a great relationship with your ex in the past and in most cases, it wasn't that "you weren't compatible for each other", it's just that something went wrong in your relationship.

Maybe you got too jealous or you got too needy or too controlling.

Whatever the case is, you need to change it.

If you know what went wrong and you fix it and avoid it this time around, why couldn't you get it right this time?

It might be controversial but I honestly believe that you can get them back and live a happy life with them if you just focus on improving and avoiding your relationships past mistakes.

Now, remember that last phrase:

If you just focus on improving and avoiding your relationships past mistakes.

Don't, and I really mean this from the bottom of my heart, don't just jump back into a relationship without figuring out why and what went wrong the first time.

The goal is to get a fresh start with them after repairing all the issues you had before and getting back together.

Not fixing these things will just lead to a second heartbreak a few months later down the road.

Now, as I said, a fresh start is key here to build back a real and healthy relationship that works.

How do you do this you might ask?

Well, you are at luck. You see, down below, I have linked a free video that you need to go watch right now. It's going to teach you the EXACT steps you need to take to re-attract your ex using some sneaky human psychology.

I'm being serious here. If you want to have your ex wondering why they ever broke up with you and get them to crawl back to you literally on their knees, watch the video right now and employ it to the tee while it's still up. You can thank me later!

Signs You Should Not Be Getting Back With An Ex

Now, it can't all be sunshine and rainbows and there are some signs you need to look for that indicate you absolutely shouldn't be getting back together with them.

The absolute first thing I want you to ask yourself is this:

Do you miss your ex OR do you miss being in a relationship?

Answering this honestly will give you more info on whether you should or shouldn't get back together with them than any of these signs.

If you miss being in a relationship and not your ex, it means that you are just experiencing loneliness and heartbreak, which are completely normal symptoms of heartbreak.

Anyways, here are some signs you can base this decision on.

Sign # 1 You Were In An Abusive Relationship

This is the most obvious case. If you were in an emotionally or physically abusive relationship, stop thinking about being together with them again and never look back. I promise you will find someone better. Someone worthy of you.

If they treated you like garbage or like you aren't worthy of them, don't seek them back. Plain and simple. They are not worthy of you.

Sign #2 They Were Unfaithful

Them being unfaithful to you is one big red flag where you should just let them go and never look back.

This is amplified if it happened multiple times.

Simply put, it's not worth it to try to get back a person that cared so little for you that they could do something horrible like this.

Now, most of the times being unfaithful is a mistake people make once and once only. You might need to modify this rule to your own needs if they are showing deep remorse and regret.

Most of the times though, let a cheater go.

Sign #3 You Know That They Aren't The One

If you flat out just know that they aren't the one but you are thinking about trying to get them back because your breakup was obviously still painful, just don't.

If you aren't 100% feeling it, you shouldn't try to pursue them further.

There is no sense in trying to win back a relationship that doesn't serve a real purpose.

Sign #4 There Is No Real Future For You

Ask yourself this:

Do you genuinely believe that it's possible to make this work in the long term?

Did you two have some huge indifferences during your relationship?

Completely different views about the future?

Some cultural or religious conflicts?

Did you two fight and argue constantly?

If you answer yes to these questions you really need to assess if there would actually be a future for you two.

Sign #5 You Have Already Broken Up Multiple Times Before

You know what I mean. The kind of couples who break up 12 times during the course of a year.

If this describes your relationship, just don't.

You already probably know in the back of your head how it would end anyways.

Signs You Should Be Getting Back With An Ex

Sign #1 You Two Generally Had a Good Relationship

I have to make something clear here.

Nearly every single relationship is great at the beginning. This is referred to as the honeymoon stage and every couple goes through it at the start of their relationship.

This is not what I mean with the title though.

What I do mean is that if you had a great relationship with a lot of trust and honesty built up, you can go for it.

Sign #2 You Actually Believe In The Relationship

Alright, I know this is a little bit vague because anyone who wants their ex back will "believe in their relationship".

I'm still going to include it here though because I hope you will be able to assess this honestly.

If you actually and wholeheartedly believe that you can and will have a great future with your ex then by all means, go for it!

What I don't want to see happen though is you chasing clouds. 

Sign #3 You Broke Up For Silly Reasons

Maybe someone said something stupid and it leads to a breakup.

People often give up way too easily on an otherwise amazing relationship the moment they start experiencing anything negative.

If your relationship ended because of something like this or because of an overreaction, you can/should try to pursue them back if you really want it.

Sing #4 You Ask Your Friends And They Tell You It Would Be a Good Idea

Friends are great because they see the relationship without bias.

Love can affect the way you see things dangerously effectively but if your friends say the same thing and think that your ex really was the one for you, there is no reason to not go for it.

Sign #5 Circumstances Broke You Up

This is actually pretty common.

Nothing drastic happens in the relationship but due to circumstances like one of you moving to another state you just feel like dating isn't worth it anymore.

If you are in this position, you might want to re-assess everything and think about if you really wanted to let them go.

So, What's Next?

So, now that you have figured out whether or not you should try to get back together, it's time to give you some advice on how to actually go forward with re-establishing a relationship with them.

Moving Forward