If you are in a situation where you still have romantic feelings towards your ex, there is nothing worse than hearing this:
"It's not your fault, it's mine but let's still be friends right?"
That hurts.
You have just been dropped from their lover to their friend.
They don't feel attraction to you anymore. They only look at you as a friend.
But how do you get out of the friend zone with your ex?
Let's find out.
Can You Get Your Ex Back?
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How To Get Out Of Friend Zone With Ex?
Step #1 Don't Become Friends With Them In The First Place
When your ex asks you to become friends with them after you break up, don't agree!
I know it can feel very tempting but realistically, it does no good for you to be friends with your ex.
Becoming friends with your ex is something you should never do in the first place.
You see, I know you might be thinking that this is an opportunity for you to slowly re-attract them by being constantly close to them.
I hate to break it to you but that stuff only happens in the movies.
Your ex needs to develop feelings of missing you and these feelings will never develop if you are constantly around them.
Think about it yourself:
Do you deeply miss your friend who you see and talk to every day? No?
That's what I'm getting to here.
Also, you will most likely be miserable if you become friends with them.
You see, you will inevitably become your ex's therapist.
They will pour all their heartache and soul to you and you will have to just sit there and listen while pretending to be their friend, even though you still have feelings for them.
Becoming their support pillar is not going to be fun if you still have feelings for them.
Your ex will have all the control and they can just ask you to meet up whenever and since you still have feelings for them, you automatically agree.
I know that if you have already established a friendship with them, it can feel hard to cut it off. It can almost feel like you are losing them forever.
Trust me though, by staying as friends with them you completely shatter your chances of ever getting them back.
So, if you are someone who has gotten friend-zoned by your ex, I recommend you cut off the friendship slowly in a non-rude way.
Start responding slower and less frequently and then eventually after a few weeks, cut off all contact.
Then, you can move on to step #2
Step #2 No Contact
Oh yes, you heard me correctly.
No contact is the single most effective thing you can do to get back together with them.
That's because as I already mentioned above, we need to make your ex miss you.
No contact is the single most valuable asset you need to have when trying to get out of the friend zone with your ex.
This won't happen overnight but when you suddenly disappear and cut off contact with them for at least a month, they will start to wonder what's going on.
At first, they will just be curious about your disappearance but then, day by day, the curiosity will grow stronger and stronger.
They will start to wonder how you "got over them" so fast and whether or not you are dating someone new.
What they don't obviously know is that you are doing this intentionally by employing the no contact rule.
You see, your ex broke up with you for a reason.
Their attraction to you faded because of something and they started to only see you as a friend.
Something ruined the attraction between you two and cutting off contact with them is the best thing you could do right now.
You need to give them time to develop some nostalgia about your relationship and even let them become more emotionally neutral towards you.
After breaking up with you, it's almost impossible to get them back straight away... (unless you are one of the few determined ones that want to use this).
Breaking up is never fun and after it finally happens, your ex will just be relieved that they got it over with.
That's why you need to employ no contact. To let their feelings of relieve turn into curiosity and then eventual fear of losing you forever.
Your ex wanted to still be friends with you remember?
That means there is a very good chance they still care about you on at least some level. They just aren't romantically attracted to you enough anymore.
Step #3 Give Them a Taste Of Their Own Medicine
After enough time has passed where you haven't been in contact with your ex, it's time to give them a taste of their own medicine.
After no contact, if they haven't already begged you to take them back, you should initiate some contact with them but here is the key:
This time around YOU will act as the friend.
You will start to slowly build up contact with them again by posing as a friend.
Now it's time to let them get a taste of their own medicine.
Ask them to help you with some stuff from work or ask them to grab a quick bite to catch up.
Then, you could tell them what a great FRIEND they have been to you.
Incite some jealousy in them.
Tell them a story about this person from work who is constantly hitting on you.
Trust me, people who friendzone others hate to get put in there themselves.
By seeing how your ex reacts you can easily assess the situation and their feelings.
Now, remember that if you are trying to get them back, you can't overdo this.
Letting them taste their own medicine doesn't mean you should tell them an imaginary story of how you slept around with 10 different people during the last month.
You are trying to make them jealous, that's true but there is always that fine line you can't cross unless you want to terminate your chances of getting them back forever.
There is obviously a fine line you can't cross here if you want to have chances at getting them back.
Step #4 Re-Attract
During no contact, and also when you are friend-zoning your ex, you should heavily focus on improving yourself.
By becoming a more attractive person you show your ex your new qualities.
If your relationship ended because you became too needy, remove this trait!
If it ended because you became lazy, start living an active lifestyle again.
Whatever the case is, the point still stands. Improve yourself until you are irresistible.
Eventually, you will push your ex to the point where they have to make a decision.
They have now seen that you aren't easy because you disappeared using no contact. You aren't needy at all because you friend-zoned them.
You have also become a way more attractive version of the past you.
You have gotten new clothes, perhaps started a new hobby, improved your personality, simply you are irresistible.
Believe me when I say that your ex has definitely noticed all of this and now they are at a point where they have to decide whether or not they want to be with you again.
It's also important to not be afraid of moving on.
This will push your ex to the point of having to make that decision even further and if they don't, at least you get the chance to have a fresh and improved relationship with someone new.
(Bonus) Step #5 FORCE Your Ex To Come Back
Update : September 20th 2020
Alright, so I added this bonus step as a "last resort" for those of you who are absolutely SURE you want to get them back.
What I'm linking down below is a video that you should ONLY watch on the term that you are absolutely certain that you want them back.
You will learn a technique that is going to force your ex to feel so much emotional obsession towards you that they have no other choice but to literally crawl back into your arms if you do everything as you are taught.
I must say this again. Only use this if you are sure about getting them back and building a new and improved relationship.
If you pay attention and follow this video presentation all the way to the end, before you even know it, your ex will be pinning you against your bedroom wall, gazing at you with that look they used to give you, and kissing you like you're the last person they'll ever kiss.
Summary
As a summary:
- Don't become friends with your ex to begin with. If you are looking to get them back, this is a terrible idea.
- If you already did, cut off the friendship slowly in a non-rude way.
- Start employing no contact as soon as possible to make them miss you.
- Eventually, after no contact, you need to establish contact with them again. The best way to do this is to follow this texting guide to a tee.
After no contact, you can contact them but only do so by following a detailed texting guide so you don't screw anything up.
- Then, it's time to give them a taste of their own medicine, meaning you will friendzone them.
- During all of this, your heavy focus should be on improving yourself and making yourself more attractive.
- Eventually, your ex will get to a point where they have to make the decision of whether or not they want to be with you again. By now you will be way more attractive than you were at the end of your relationship so at this point, they will desperately crave you.
- The next step is to enjoy having your ex back right beside you!
So, there you have it folks.
By following these steps you will have all the tools to get out of friend zone with your ex
Good luck out there!
That bonus step though!! Thanks so much!
Glad you found the video helpful!
Amazing advice as usual Chris. Thanks for updating this and linking that video to us! I’m sure you helped hundreds of people get their ex back with a single link!
Thank you for the kind words! Glad I could help you out Olivia!