Just broken up? Hurting from the breakup? Don't worry. In just a couple of minutes from now, you will have learned a proven plan on how to make your ex want you back.
A breakup can be one of the most devastating things to happen in a person's life, especially with you being the one that wasn't ready to end things.
My name is Chris and I have been in your shoes. Wishfully looking back at my relationship with a broken heart.
Over the years I have worked with hundreds of people and helped them get back the love of their life. Right now, I'm going to tell you exactly what you need to do to make your ex want you back.
If you read this whole thing through, I guarantee you that you will increase your chances of getting your ex back by a mile.
I will also reward you at the end of this article with a gift... and this gift will literally send your ex crawling back to your front door so I would definitely stay tuned for that...
Without further ado, enjoy!
Can You Get Your Ex Back?
Wondering the answer to that question? I've created a quiz that will tell definitively if you still have a chance with your ex or if you should consider moving on...
Click this link to take the quiz and find out definitively where you stand...
What Actually Broke Your Relationship?
Now, before we dive in on the strategies you will use to get your ex back, you need to first understand the reason why your relationship ended in the first place:
Your ex lost attraction to you.
I'm sorry to tell you that but this is the plain and simple truth and the faster you accept it, the better your chances of getting them back.
The foundation of attraction built between you two faded.
Something has happened that has lead to your ex losing attraction with you.
Loss of attraction is the fundamental reason relationships end.
Over the years, I have seen some really common trends as for reasons that destroy attraction in relationships:
Neediness, jealousy, getting too comfortable and just generally becoming too lazy with the relationship are just a few of the most common ones.
However, only your ex truly knows what triggered them to not be as attracted to you anymore as they were when you two first started dating.
Just think about it...
If you attracted your ex back in the day by being a really charming, athletic and positive person but then as your relationship progressed you stopped displaying those traits, it's only natural for them to stop feeling as attracted to you right?
Obviously, I'm not saying the above happened to you as every relationship is different. I'm also not saying that you inherently did or became something that your ex wasn't attracted to anymore.
Sometimes, people just stop feeling attraction towards someone. And there is no real explanation as to why that happens.
Now, believe me when I say that I have been in your shoes. That's why I want you to not repeat the mistakes I made and instead apply what I'm about to tell you to the tee.
A lot of the advice I'm going to give you is at first glance going to look really counter-intuitive, so I want you to sit tight and read this whole thing through because it will all make sense at the end.
What Can You Do To Make Your Ex Want You Back?
So, you have broken up and now you realize why. What can you actually do to make your ex want you back?
Well, if you have been reading around this blog, you will have had to heard me talk about the no contact rule before.
If you are a new reader and you do not know what no contact means, let me explain it to you briefly:
It means giving your ex a break from you. When you are doing no contact, you are not texting, calling, begging or seeing your ex.
For a period of time, you will completely vanish from your ex's life.
Sounds counter-intuitive right?
Well, there is a method to the madness.
You see, in order for your ex to start wanting you again, they will have to experience what it's like to NOT have you around first.
What most people do when they get dumped and they want to continue the relationship is lot's of text messages and phone calls begging for a second chance and pleading for "a new start".
While the above might sound like a great idea when your heart is broken, you need to trust me when I say that it is not.
If you truly want to get your ex back, you need to understand that right now, you can't force them to make that decision. The desire to get back together must come from their end and right now, your ex is just happy they got the breakup over with.
Just think about it. Your ex didn't just one day decide that they want to break up with you and then immediately tell you their plans. Not at all.
In fact, they have probably been thinking about this for a while already and now that they finally got the breakup over with, they just feel relieved because breaking up with someone is really stressful.
That's why it does way more harm than good to pour your emotions at your ex right now.
The above is exactly why no contact is so effective and a must thing to do when trying to get your love back.
No texting, no calling, no drunk dialing, no "accidentally" bumping into them in public, nothing.
I can't stress this enough.
Over the last 5 years I have seen no contact work faster than one could even imagine multiple times and I am confident that it will work for you too.
"But Chris, My Situation Is Unique Because Of x, y and z. Will No Contact Work For Me Too?"
That is a great question. However, that is also a question I can't give you a 100% promise on. You see, all relationships are different.
What I will say however is this:
Employing no contact is the absolute best thing you can do both for your own, and for your ex's sake right now.
[2020 Case Study] How I Got My Own Ex Back Utilizing A Method You Haven't Heard Of
How Long Does The No Contact Period Last?
As long as it takes to get your head in the right place again and get yourself feeling good about life again.
There is no magic number of days where on day X your ex will instantly love you again. No contact doesn't work that way.
In my own experiences, and the experiences of people who I have worked with, no contact should last around 30 days, sometimes even longer.
Do I Tell My Ex That I'm Doing No Contact?
No, please don't.
The magic about no contact is that you want your ex to be wondering why you aren't acting needy or contacting them anymore.
You want to be on your ex's mind as much as you can.
Eventually, your ex's thoughts will start shifting from "I wonder why they aren't contacting me anymore" to "Did they already find someone else? How did they get over me so quickly?"
Now, there is one exception to this rule.
If your ex is constantly calling and texting you to ask you what happened, you should tell them briefly that you are taking some time to yourself and you don't want them to contact you for a while.
I know it's hard and I know you would rather text them that you still love them but trust me, if you do what I teach you will thank me in the future.
But Isn't It Rude To Not Answer My Ex?
Depends on how you look at it...
Wasn't it rude that they shattered your heart by breaking up with you?
Also, taking time for yourself is not rude. One of the biggest benefits of no contact is that you can regain your mental clarity that got completely dusted during the breakup.
What If My Ex Moves On During No Contact?
This is actually one of the most common questions I get when it comes to no contact.
To put it shortly:
YOUR EX WILL NOT MOVE ON DURING THIS TIME.
If you two were in any sort of a serious relationship (meaning you dated for longer than like 2 weeks), there is no way that your ex will "forget about you" or "move on" during this time.
In fact, what will instead happen is that your ex will start to miss you because they will cherish all the good memories they had with you.
If you are still not convinced, go ahead and read this article.
Can I Shorten No Contact? Like Do It For a Week Instead Of A Month?
No.
Your ex will not forget the negative things about you in a week. Or in a few days.
You have to give it time and you have to actually make a positive change in yourself. This will not happen in a week.
What If My Ex And I Have Children Together?
This is a tricky situation to be in...
In this case, you will have to limit no contact. Only talk to your ex when it's necessary.
If your ex comes to you with a topic that's related to your children, you obviously can't just ignore them.
What If My Ex And I Live Together?
Another tricky situation you could be in is to live with your ex...
In this case, I would highly recommend that you find a way to get out.
Tell your ex that it is really hard for you to be around him right now and that you need to take some space.
If it's not possible to move out, you will again have to limit no contact and only talk to your ex when it's necessary.
My Ex Broke Up With Me Because They Thought I Didn't Care For Them Enough. Won't No Contact Just Accelerate This?
This is a question many people have so let me answer it clearly:
Since you are reading this article, you have most likely already tried to convince your ex that things will be different this time. That this time, you will care for them and things will change.
And it didn't work.
Quite frankly, your ex does not believe that you will change. Your words don't really hold value to them at the moment.
Your ex thinks that you are just acting needy now to get them back and then you will go back to your old ways as soon as you two are back together.
That's why you need to SHOW them that you have changed instead of telling them that you have changed.
The best way to do this is with no contact because it shows them that you are not needy or desperate.
What Will My Ex's Thoughts Be If I Don't Contact Them?
I don't know.
Just kidding, I kinda know but obviously, I'm not a mind reader.
The usual thing that happens in an ex's mind during breakup is grief.
Your ex will finally realize that you really are gone and they broke up with you.
You see, what your ex most likely THOUGHT would happen after they broke up with you is that you would beg and plead them for weeks on end to give the relationship a second chance.
However, since you have found this article, what will instead happen is your complete disappearance which will spark a lot of questions in your ex's head.
They will wonder where you are, what you are doing, who you are with and why you aren't giving them any attention. All of this will ultimately lead them to hold you in higher value and yes, make your ex want you more.
Read Exactly How I Managed To Get My Own Ex Back In A Few Weeks
Becoming A Person Your Ex Would Once Again Want To Be With
This is the part where most people screw up. Badly.
What most people do after they read about no contact is that they lock themselves into their houses and start the countdown of 30 days thinking that their ex will magically show up at their doorstep on the 30th day.
Life does not work that way.
You need to actually make a positive change in yourself for your ex to start seeing you in a new way.
Changes In Visual Appearance
Do not underestimate the power of visual changes when it comes to attraction.
If you truly want to spend your no contact time wisely, here are some things you can do:
#1 Getting A New Haircut
A haircut can freshen you up quicker than anything else. You will feel better and once your ex sees you again after no contact, you will look different to them.
#2 Get In Shape
Hitting the gym hard in a situation like this might not sound like the most appealing thing to do but trust me, once you actually go there and hit some workouts, you will feel amazing.
There is also the added benefit in making your body look way better. Wouldn't it be nice to drop your ex's jaw to the floor when you see them again?
#3 Get New Clothes
New clothes are another thing that can completely transform your visual appearance and make you feel way better.
Changes In Your Own Mentality
No contact is also a great time to reflect on some of the things on your own life.
What really drives you? What are your passions? Do you struggle with self-esteem issues?
Also really pay attention to whether or not you might have had some bad habits that caused you to push your ex away.
Were you controlling? Manipulative? Jealous? Did you lack communication skills?
If any of the above sound like you, now is the absolute best time to work on yourself.
Figuring Out What Was Actually Broken In Your Relationship And Then Fixing It
Nearly every person I have helped get their ex back had one thing in common.
They all had at least an idea of what went wrong in their past relationship.
Now, I want you to think about this...
Do you have any idea why your relationship fell apart? Even a gut feeling?
If you truly have no idea, you need to figure it out.
You already know that your ex lost attraction to you, but WHY did that happen?
The real reason for your breakup is often completely different from the one your ex gives you. Your ex might say stuff like "it's not your fault, it's mine" or "I don't know, I just don't feel the same way towards you anymore".
What you need to do is see through the lines and figure out what actually went wrong.
For example,
Did you fight a lot? Was one of you controlling? Was there jealousy that plagued your relationship? Trust issues? Insecurities?
Whatever the problem was, you need to figure it out and fix it.
Initiating Contact With Your Ex At The Right Time
By the time you get to this point, you have come a long way.
Remember that person who got dumped? Yeah, they don't exist anymore. You should be a new person with a new attitude now.
After your ex hasn't heard from you in a while, they will be wondering what is going on.
Their thoughts will have shifted from the negative ones that surrounded your breakup into positive memories the two of you had together.
Just when all of this is happening, you contact them... meet them... and get back together with them.
Now, before we get ahead of ourselves here, you have to make sure that you have actually changed enough for your ex to see you in a new light.
Are you really the version 2.0 of yourself now?
If you are not, there isn't really any point in trying to get them back.
Ask yourself this:
Do I still need more time to become the confident, positive and attractive person I need to be to re-attract my ex?
If you answered yes to the above, you shouldn't contact them yet.
If you answered no, let's move on.
When Should I Contact My Ex Again?
This is a question only you truly know the answer to.
Again, there isn't any magic number of days where at day 30, your ex will be waiting for you to text them.
Instead, you need to ask yourself these questions:
#1 Have I followed the no contact rule without any exceptions for at least a month?
#2 Have I gotten my self together and completely collected my thoughts regarding the breakup?
#3 Am I making rational and good decisions again without my breakup affecting them?
#4 Can I accept the fact that while there is a chance that I will get my ex back, it isn't guaranteed?
#5 Have I worked on the issues that plagued our old relationship and ultimately led to the end of it?
What Is The Best Way To Contact My Ex?
In my opinion, texting is easily the best way to reach out to your ex after no contact.
Why is that you may ask?
Well, quite simply, texting gives your ex a chance to think about their answer.
If you just abruptly call them after a month, your ex may get overwhelmed and they may have no idea how to respond to you.
When you instead send a clever text message, you give your ex the chance to read it over and over again and really think about the answer they will give you.
Now, before we go any further, just know that you are the person who knows your ex the best. Not me.
If they are an old time romantic for example, be bold and send them a hand written letter in the mail instead of a text. It won't hurt you that's for sure.
But what should your message contain?
Well, it should definitely contain something with at least some value.
So, definitely do not text them something like "hey, what's up" or "hi, how are you".
Instead, be clever and playful.
You could send them something like this:
"Hey, I was out with my friend yesterday and we drove past the beach where we had our first date, made me really think about the great memories we had. Anyways, hope you are doing well!"
A text like the above really kills multiple birds at one stone.
It isn't needy, it shows your ex that you are doing stuff with your life and it reminds them of the good moments you two had together.
Obviously, you can't just copy the text above and send it to your ex. You need to think of something for yourself as the above was just a guideline.
The key thing to do is to be subtle. After all of the hard work you have put in, you don't want to push your ex away by being too pushy.
Actually, if you want to make things a lot easier for yourself, I'm going link you the same texting guide a ton of my friends and people I have worked with have utilized to get back together with their ex's. If it worked for them, I'm sure it will work for you too!
How To Finally Ask Your Ex Out
KEEP IT SUBTLE.
If I could only give you one piece of advice for asking them out, it would be the above.
Do not ask them on a date. Do not ask them to "talk things through".
If you ask them on a date, you will push them away faster than Usain Bolt runs the 100-metre dash. Raising their defenses does nothing good for you at this moment.
You want to pose as a friend here. As a casual friend who just wants to quickly and lightly catch up over a cup of coffee or something similar.
No strings or commitments, just a light catch up.
If you have followed this guide to the tee up to this point, you will be way more attractive to your ex than you were when you two broke up.
Once you have been texting them casually for a while, you can be bold and pick up the phone to call them and ask them to grab some coffee.
Be charismatic, confident and funny. Do not beg them or anything like that.
Now, they might require some pushing so you can say things like "Hey, it's just coffee, what's the harm" or "You know it will be fun".
However, absolutely avoid saying stuff like "Hey, you owe this to me" or "Hey, the least you can do is meet up with me".
Remember, you are just a friend who wants to catch up. If you call your friend and they can't see you at that moment, do you get angry at them and start pushing them to come see you?
No.
That's exactly how you need to act with your ex.
If you truly have done everything correctly up to this point, your ex will likely be more than happy to catch up with you quickly.
Meeting Up With Your Ex After A Long Hiatus
Meeting your ex is going to make you nervous. Accept it.
The point of this meeting is to display them the new you 2.0
That means no talking about negative stuff or drama. Don't even mention any of the negative stuff that surrounded your breakup.
Now, if they bring up the topic of getting back together, good. You can mention that you still have feelings for them but you aren't sure if getting back together is the right call.
You should really focus on taking things slow at this first meeting. Don't jump the gun on getting back together on the very first mention.
A good rule of thumb to remember is to treat this meeting with your ex like it is your first date.
That means you are going to be outgoing, charismatic and just fun to be around. You are going to have good eye contact and laugh at their jokes.
Ask them how they have been doing and tell them how you have been doing. If you have picked up new hobbies during no contact for example, this is the perfect moment to tell your ex about them.
You want their brain to think: "They are a really awesome person, I wonder why I ever broke up with them".
If you can make your ex think the above, only the sky will be the limit for you.
Bonus Gift - Utilize This Video And Watch How Your Ex Comes Crawling Back
Alright! You have made it to the end of this article... Congratulations! This article covered a lot of things but there is still a lot of info I would like you to know.
That is why I'm going to link you a video that is going to reveal a strategy many readers of this blog have already employed...
It involves a certain Brad Browning... a relationship expert whose advice personally helped me get my own ex back and inspired me to start this blog you are reading right now.
If you want to become truly and utterly magnetic to your ex, click down below to watch a video presentation where Brad Browning himself explains how his technique is going to revolutionize your current situation and explain how you can use it to make your ex desire you in a way where they HAVE to have you.
If you pay attention and follow this video presentation all the way to the end, before you even know it, your ex will be pinning you against your bedroom wall, gazing at you with that look they used to give you, and kissing you like you're the last person they'll ever kiss.
However, before you go and watch the video presentation, a quick disclaimer:
The video you are about to watch reveals a powerful technique that has the potential to get your ex completely obsessed with you.
ONLY use this method to form a deep and meaningful relationship with your ex and do NOT abuse Browning's technique just so you can toy with your ex's emotions once they are completely devoted to you.
Good luck!
My ex broke up with me a week ago and I must say this article has been of huge help through these tough times… I’m really hopeful that by employing no contact and purchasing the advanced guide you linked I’ll be able to eventually get them back.
I’m sure you’ll succeed!
No contact saved my relationship with him! Anyone reading this having doubts about no contact, just listen to the experts and do it!
Yup… It really is necessary I wish more people would utilize it.
This is the best advice I’ve read since my breakup and your case study was super motivating to read!
Thank you!
Since we broke up I’ve had no idea what to actually do so this article was of huge help to me. I really can’t seem to accept and cope with the breakup we had but I’m going to follow this advice and the guide you linked to the tee.
I’m sure if you just stick with it you’ll eventually succeed and get them back!
We had a 1 year relationship and broke up just recently.. Really hopeful this will work.
Good luck! Stick with it and you’ll see the rewards.