Breaking up when you still have feelings for them can be devastating.
It can be really tempting to pour your heart out to them and tell them everything you are feeling.
But should you tell your ex how you feel?
Is it actually a good idea?
Can it hurt you?
By the end of this article, you will have all the answers.
Should You Tell Your Ex How You Feel?
Short answer: no, not right now.
Especially if you still want to get them back.
Now, let me explain why that is.
Can You Get Your Ex Back?
Wondering the answer to that question? I've created a quiz that will tell definitively if you still have a chance with your ex or if you should consider moving on...
Click this link to take the quiz and find out definitively where you stand...
You see, popular culture has given us this idea that honesty will always win.
You have all seen the movies where people break up, but then the main character has this huge moment where they confess their love to someone after a breakup.
Then, that someone immediately gets re-attracted by this confession and they and live happily ever after.
To be blunt, what I just described above is total BS.
Movies often give you a completely false idea of what you should be actually doing in your dating life.
That doesn't actually happen in real life. It just doesn't work that way.
If you go and pour your heart out to your ex in hopes of them changing their mind and getting back together with you, you are making a big mistake.
Telling them how you feel will not make them change their mind.
Actually, let me say something even crazier:
Telling your ex how you feel can hurt your chances of getting them back.
Why?
So, why don't you want your ex to know that you want them back?
Well, as I have previously explained in my how to make your ex want you back article, right after the breakup, there is nothing you can say to get them back.
Your ex just isn't in the right mental state to act positive towards you and be affected of what you say.
Telling them how you feel right after a breakup when they are in a negative emotional state towards you can be a catastrophe.
Even if they were the ones to break up with you (which I'm assuming is the case since you are reading this article), they will still be feeling a lot of negative emotions in the first weeks following the breakup.
You see, breakups aren't something we look forward to.
Yes, your ex probably looked forward to the life after the breakup but breaking up in itself is never fun.
You need to let their emotions neutralize before you do anything.
Going up to them right now and telling them how you are still in love with them and trying to make them feel affection towards you isn't going to work.
They will just see you as someone who is needy and desperate.
What Should You Do Instead Of Telling Your Ex How You Feel?
Distance yourself from them.
You see, if you want to get them back, you don't want them to know that you want them back.
By doing this, you show to your ex that you aren't needy and that if they don't show any intention of trying to get you back, you will have no problems finding someone new.
Now, this probably won't actually be the case since you still have feelings for your ex but they won't know that.
In their head, the image of you will shape into something completely different. Someone more attractive.
By distancing yourself from them instead of telling them how you feel, you create an image of yourself in their head. An image that portrays power.
You see, if they broke up with you, it already means that you most likely displayed some unattractive qualities to them.
This caused them to eventually lose attraction to you and break up with you.
And since they were the ones to break up with you, pouring your heart out to them and begging them to take you back is exactly what they expect you to do.
They know in their heads that if they just made one phone call back to you, they could have you back any time.
By doing the exact opposite and not telling all your feelings to your ex, you pull the rug under them and make them realize that you really aren't that easy.
I know you have doubts about this working. That's why I recommend you read my no contact article to get a better idea of why this works so damn effectively.
Educate yourself on the powers of no contact. It's one of the most beneficial tools you have.
When Should You Tell Your Ex How You Feel?
Alright, now that we have gotten over why you shouldn't tell them how you feel after the breakup, we still have this to go over.
I mean, if you are going to be getting back together with them, eventually, you have to tell them how you feel. That's just how it works.
When is the right timing though?
Well, I would highly recommend to follow the teachings of Brad Browning in this situation.
This is the guy you need to listen to in this situation...
As much as I would like to say that I know everything when it comes to breakups and getting your ex back, I have to admit that there are people out there who have put together such amazing resources for getting your ex back that my jaw drops to the floor.
To get back to the topic in hand, Browning recommends that you contact your ex only after you have successfully employed no contact for a short period of time.
Now, to be honest, if you follow his teachings to the tee, (I'll put a link down below for you), your ex will 99% surely be the one to contact you during no contact, and you won't have to worry about contacting them.
How do I know this to be the case?
Well, that's exactly what happened to me when I employed Browning's advice.
In fact, if you follow this video I'm linking to the tee, don't be surprised if your phone starts getting bombarded with calls and texts from your ex who now wants to get back together with you.
And don't be surprised if your ex who swore they would never get back together with you will soon be pinning you against your bedroom wall, gazing at you with that look they used to give you, and kissing you like you're the last person they'll ever kiss.
Here it is:
Summary
So, as a summary:
- You shouldn't tell your ex how you feel.
- Pouring your heart out to them will just make you look needy and desperate and it's not attractive to them.
- Instead, you want to make your ex think that you aren't clinging on to them at all and that you have no trouble moving on.
Make them feel like you have no trouble moving on from them.
- After a breakup, your ex will be feeling negative emotions towards you and you need to let these emotions fade over time before you can try to get them back.
- You achieve this by employing no contact (using the video I linked you above)
- Eventually, they won't be seeing you as their unattractive ex anymore but as someone who is once again desirable.
Anyways, that's all for today folks
Good luck out there!
THANK god I read this article in time… I was about to pour my heart out to him up until I found this article and started employing Browning’s ex factor guide. For anyone on the fence about it, it’s worth it. Trust me.
Glad you found it helpful! And great job on taking action!
Awesome advice and I have to agree with the comment above, Browning’s ex factor guide was a life saver!
It truly is! And thank you!
Great article
Thank you!
Thank god I didn’t text them before I read this..
Haha! Glad you avoided that mistake!
Really motivating article. Employing no contact isn’t easy the way Browning teaches it but it’s so worth it.
I agree with you! Browning’s teachings are super effective but you have to follow them to the tee!
The ex factor guide worked better than I could have ever imagined.. thank you so much!
No need to thank me!! Just thank Browning for putting it together!
MY EX JUST TOLD ME THAT THEY WANT TO GET BACK TOGETHER WITH ME!
This is insane. I never in a million years would have thought that there was actually hope left for me. I’m literally screaming right now as I type this out to you. Thank you so much for this recommendation and I hope that your day goes ad good as mine is going right now!!
Super happy to hear that!!