"Does no contact work?" Is a question many people wonder after hearing about it for the first time, and for a good reason.
To so many people, no contact seems weird and raises many questions...
"How do you use no contact?"
"Does it always work?"
"When should you not use it?"
"But I saw this 'expert' say that you should never use it?"
A lot of people claim no contact is dumb but are these claims true?
In this article, I'll cover everything related to no contact.
If that sounds interesting, grab a comfortable position and...
Let's begin.
Can You Get Your Ex Back?
Wondering the answer to that question? I've created a quiz that will tell definitively if you still have a chance with your ex or if you should consider moving on...
Click this link to take the quiz and find out definitively where you stand...
So, Does No Contact Work?
I want to make sure I really get this into your head...
Yes.
No contact works. And it works damn effectively if you do it properly.
You just have to learn how to employ it without messing anything up, and that is exactly what I'm going to teach you right now.
The biggest reason why no contact works so well is that it makes your ex miss you.
You see, no contact gives your ex time and space to let go of all the negative emotions they are associating you with right now.
No contact will eventually make your ex miss you and this is one of the best things that could happen if you want them back.
They will get to look at things on an objective level because the emotions of the breakup will fade over time.
Eventually, your ex won't be associating you with negative thoughts anymore, instead, they will remember all the positive and happy memories of your relationship and since you aren't contacting them at all, they will start to miss you.
The fact is that no contact is the most beneficial thing you can do right after a breakup, no matter if your goals are to get over them or to get them back.
Simply, they won't be able to miss you if you are constantly around them. Why would they?
Do you personally miss someone who you talk to every single day? No?
That's why you need to completely disappear for a while.
There are also other benefits like the fact that you get time to work on yourself and become the best version of yourself.
How Do You Employ No Contact For It To Work?
I'm assuming that, since you are reading this article you already know what doing no contact means.
You shut down all communication with your ex for about 30-days.
No texting, no calling no drunk dialing and especially no bumping into your ex as an "accident".
Now, before we start covering no contact more in-depth I need to make something clear.
Doing only no contact will not make your ex magically come back to you.
No contact is one of the most crucial steps in getting your ex back
No contact is only one part of an effective ex back method but more on that later.
So, how do you employ no contact properly?
The answer is extremely simple...
You actually don't contact your ex at all.
Half-assing no contact is the most common mistake I see in people who try to employ it.
They start out good but then they "accidentally" go to the same bowling hall their ex has bowling practise in every Saturday.
You don't want to give in and reach out to your ex!
Staying strong and not allowing your ex to draw you into a conversation is the most important part for no contact working properly.
So, if you are thinking about doing no contact but you are not sure if you can actually do it properly, don't even bother because it's not going to work in that case.
You need to actually commit to no contact and do it properly
Now, don't get me wrong there are some situations where you absolutely should break no contact but we'll get to those later in this article.
In almost every scenario though, you have to stay disciplined and not break the barrier.
When people come to me and say they failed to get their ex back, I always know they for sure missed something crucial during no contact or they didn't stick to it properly to begin with.
When Does No Contact Start Working?
Well, unsurprisingly I can't directly give you an answer to this question because it heavily depends on them as a person.
Every person is different and so is every breakup.
No contact might start working within a couple of days, or it could take up to a few months.
I'll list some signs you can look for down below to get a better understanding of how you can tell if no contact has started to work.
Right after a breakup, your ex will most likely just be relieved that they got the breakup over with.
People usually don't look forward to breaking up with someone, no matter how intriguing the life after a breaking up seems.
That's why it's going to take a while until your ex starts to get curious about the fact that you haven't reached out to them and begged them to take you back.
There is no way to give you a direct answer as to how long it will take for no contact to start working.
Every day, this curiosity grows bigger and bigger and they will start to wonder what you are doing since you aren't showing any interest in them anymore.
Eventually, these feelings grow to become so strong that you will be in your ex's thoughts constantly and your ex will start fearing that they have completely lost you.
You see, when they broke up with you, they thought that they were in total control and that they could just call you once and get you back.
Now, the rug has been pulled under them and they realize that you weren't that easy.
The fear of losing you for good strikes them and they have lost the hope of you actually contacting them.
The pressure keeps growing in their mind.
Related Article : How I Got My Own Ex Back With The Help Of No Contact Easily (2020 Case Study)
Why Do Some People Advice So Heavily Against No Contact?
Now, here is a good little rule of thumb I want you to remember.
If you see a "dating expert" claiming that doing no contact is useless and ineffective.
Run as fast as you can.
That's one of the biggest red flags you can look for, and it means they are uneducated, ignorant and quite frankly have no idea what they are talking about.
I see a lot of "dating experts" these days claiming no contact doesn't work and the sole reason these people claim such stupid things is that they want you to think that they have the secret formula for getting your ex back.
They claim that by using their "secret advice" your ex is going to magically run into your arms, and you shouldn't listen to time tested proven methods that actually work like no contact.
A dating expert claiming no contact doesn't work is no dating expert.
These "experts" also capitalize on the fact that most people obviously don't want to ignore their ex for a month.
Ignoring your ex for a long time is hard and most people are really hesitant in employing it.
They think their ex is going to forget about them or that they will surely move on.
It's a lot more appealing to go to a scam "dating coach" that tells you to "say this one sentence and your ex will surely come back to you" because that's exactly what you want to hear when you are heartbroken.
There just isn't any alternative to no contact and that's the truth. These "experts" just thrash on it to create controversy and make money.
Now, a quick disclaimer: there is nothing wrong with listening to a coach for advice. I actually recommend it highly. Just make sure that they know their stuff and the value of no contact.
No contact is crucial and there are no alternatives to it.
Also, to those of you who are scared of employing no contact because "my ex will forget about me", I got good news for you...
Unless you relationship was a total fling and a joke to your ex, there is no way in hell they will forget about you if you don't talk to them for a few weeks.
I see people being scared of their ex forgetting about them all the time but I promise you something...
I have never seen a person blow their chances in getting their ex back because they suddenly forgot about them after a few weeks of no contact. Never.
Does No Contact Always Work?
No.
Of course not.
Does no contact work in most of the situations you could ever be in?
Yes.
There is not a single strategy in the world that's going to always work though.
Now, do you have really good chances to succeed with no contact if you do it properly?
Yes.
No system in the world works 100% of the time. Neither does no contact.
You really should not be even asking this question to be completely honest.
You should be focusing on how you are going to make no contact work for you in the most effective way.
When Is It a Bad Idea To Employ No Contact?
Although sticking to no contact is usually the best way for getting your ex back, there are some situations where you should absolutely not employ it.
1# You Still Live With Your Ex Or You Have Children Together.
Most of the time in situations like this, you shouldn't do drastic no contact.
Just straight up ignoring your ex when you two still live together is really not the best idea since it's just going to do more harm than good.
If you have a child together you need to modify no contact to your needs.
2# If It's Been a Long Time After The Breakup
Look, unless you have been regularly talking to your ex, doing no contact after a long break won't be necessary.
3# You Initiated The Breakup With Your Ex
While the no contact rule has great applicability to many situations, this is not one of them.
If you are the one that initiated the breakup and dumped your ex, they are already going to feel rejected and if you ignore them for 30 days more after that, it just isn't the best idea.
Never think that no contact should always be immediately employed after a breakup.
4# Your Ex Is Angry For Your Lack Of Replies
So, obviously, at first, you want to ignore all your ex's contact attempts during no contact.
But very rarely, your ex might start getting heated and angry for you because you are ignoring their messages.
It may be in your best interest to break no contact at that point because it's clear your ex want's something from you and they may even be regretting the breakup deeply.
I have to make it clear though, this happens really rarely.
If your ex is getting heated for your lack of answers it might be a good idea to shut no contact off.
5# Your Ex Asks You To Get Back Together
This is another thing that happens rarely but it does happen from time to time.
If your ex gives you a clear sign that they want to get back together, you should obviously just stop no contact and get back together with them.
Now, I want to make something very clear...
It has to be a very clear sign that they are 100% ready to get back together.
If they simply ask you to "meet up and grab a coffee" but they don't clearly state that they want to take you back right now you need to continue with no contact.
If you are absolutely certain that they want to get back together with you when you are doing no contact, then absolutely you should break it.
Sometimes your ex might just straight up ask you to get back together
Signs That No Contact Is Working
1# Your Ex Is Trying To Make You Jealous
One of the most surefire signs to know no contact is working is if you start getting little hints that your ex is trying to make you jealous.
Are they all the sudden posting all over social media how they are hanging out with the opposite sex?
Trying to hint at you how well they are doing after the breakup?
Yup.
They are trying to make you jealous.
If your ex is trying to make you jealous during no contact you are really succeeding
2# You Started No Contact And Now They Are Contacting You More And More
Did you start no contact, and after a while your ex is all the sudden contacting you more and more?
They are wondering about your sudden absence and trying to grab your attention.
3# They Flip Flop Around
If they all the sudden tell you how much they miss you even though previously they told you how final the breakup was, you are doing things properly and no contact is working.
4# Your Ex Is Asking About You
Maybe all the sudden you hear from your mutual friends that your ex is asking about you from them.
They might be wondering how and what you are doing, and why you haven't answered to them.
Your ex asking about you is one of the greatest signs that they might be wanting you back.
5# You Feel Better
Now, last but definitely not least if you just generally feel better and you are able to think more clearly, no contact is doing its job.
You see, no contact isn't just for making your ex come back to you.
It's also for healing you.
Doing no contact will allow you to repair your emotions at least a little bit so you don't burst into tears every time you see your ex.
These are just a few of the signs your ex could be showing you.
If they aren't showing any signs I mentioned above, don't worry.
In fact, there are a lot more signs your ex could be giving you if they are interested and maybe even falling in love with you again.
Sometimes no contact is working completely as intended but your ex might just be really stubborn and not give in on their desire to reach out to you.
Don't overlook the fact that if you are just generally feeling better and happier, no contact is doing its job.
Two Of The Most Common No Contact Mistakes And How To Avoid Them
Mistake #1 Not Doing No Contact Fully
This is by far the most common and at the same time annoying mistake people who try no contact make.
You need to stick to no contact for the full-time period given.
The instances where people should break no contact are rare but I still get messages where people tell me "hey so my ex did this X thing so I broke no contact but what do I do now"?
No contact is time tested and proven to work.
I want you to have some faith in it and actually do it properly instead of half-assing the job.
For example, if your ex starts dating someone else during no contact, you still shouldn't break it. Your ex is just in a rebound relationship and there is no need to panic.
Mistake #2 You Are Trying To Do No Contact While Simultaneously Stalking Your Ex Online
Uh oh...
Please just don't be stalking your ex online.
That’s not going to help you.
Good things never come from stalking them online.
Don't check their Instagram every ten minutes.
Don't keep a tab of their Facebook profile open at all times.
You are just going to start overthinking every little thing your ex does and you will do yourself more harm than anything.
The key of the no contact period is to heal yourself while simultaneously distancing yourself from your ex so you stand a chance in getting them back later.
Please don't cyberstalk your ex during no contact. It will not benefit you.
Wrapping up
Alright, folks that's all for today.
It is possible to get back together with your ex and doing no contact is one of the best starts you could have.
I know no contact sounds counter-intuitive but the truth is that it's been proven to work.
Hell, I myself have done it successfully.
You just need to trust the process and not give in on the strong temptations to contact your ex when they ask you what's up.
Once you read this article and utilize no contact yourself, the next step is to read the guide on what to do after no contact.
This gave me great insight on no contact but what truly transformed the game was that video you linked! I soaked in as much information as I could from Browning and in the span of 2 weeks, my ex started texting me non stop! Eventually, we got back together and I didn’t even have to employ no contact for too long!
Browning’s method worked better than I could have ever expected!
Happy for you Shelly!
I already emailed Browning to thank him but I wanted to come here to drop a thank you message too. Your recommendation and his technique just completely resurrected my relationship with my girlfriend. We broke up on terrible terms but all is well now and it’s all thanks to stumbling across this article a while back. Thank you!
No problem and happy to hear that!
MY EX JUST TOLD ME THAT THEY WANT TO GET BACK TOGETHER WITH ME!
Really brought a smile to my face with this comment! Good job!