"I miss my ex so much and I have no idea what to do without them. It feels like there is no joy in my life anymore". That's what a close friend of mine came up to me and told me and that's what inspired this article.
When you miss your ex, you can either focus on completely getting over them, or you can focus on getting them back. To get them back, you need to first get into the right mindset and then employ no contact. After that, you will focus on re-attracting them.
Trust me, I have been in your shoes. Desperately missing my ex. Craving to get the old relationship back. I have had a lot of experience over the years with this topic so I decided to compile a full guide for you to follow.
Missing your ex is a terrible feeling.
So, are you in the above situation? Missing your ex?
If you are...
Let's start.
Can You Get Your Ex Back?
Wondering the answer to that question? I've created a quiz that will tell definitively if you still have a chance with your ex or if you should consider moving on...
Click this link to take the quiz and find out definitively where you stand...
Why Do You Miss Your Ex So Much?
If you have ever gone through a tough breakup you know exactly how devastating it feels.
As mentioned, I've been there. That gut-wrenching feeling of a breakup. It feels like your life is over.
You can't sleep, you can't eat, it feels as if you can't even breathe properly anymore.
The first thing I want you to asses is this:
"Why do I miss my ex so much?"
Now you are probably thinking:
"Duh, because I love them"
"I love my ex, I want them back, I miss sleeping with them, I miss eating with them, I miss my ex and everything about them".
If the above is you, I need to remind you something.
You are not alone.
Science has actually shown that dealing with a breakup is similar to dealing with the withdrawal of drug addiction.
Your brain was accustomed to having your ex by your side and now that they are suddenly gone, your brain is missing them -just like a junkie misses their drugs.
Missing your ex has similarities to withdrawing from drug addiction.
I realize, that showing you scientific literature really isn't helping you right now so let's dive into the options you have.
1) You get over your ex and move on with your life.
Or...
2) You figure out a way to get your ex back.
How To Get Your Ex Back When You Miss Them
Now, since most of you will probably choose this route, I'll cover it in this article.
I've got really good news for you.
Most of you reading this article still have a great chance to get your ex back.
You miss your ex because you love them.
And if you love them, you will do whatever it takes to get them back
But pay close attention to this:
Right now, you can't talk your way back into your ex's heart.
Don't contact them right now.
If you love them, you will change, or you will fix, or you will work on whatever went south between you two.
You need to honour your relationship, even if, right now it's absent.
Your ex needs to let go of all the negativity they are associating you with right now.
Don't think about, "I miss my ex so much, I need to contact them."
Think about "I love them, which means I must change this and fix whatever was broken."
Re-building the lost attraction is your goal and right now I don't want you to do anything that's going to ruin your chances to get to this point later.
Don't confuse a long term vision for a short term need.
Changing what was wrong in your relationship is the goal.
I know you want to call your ex because you miss them and because it hurts.
But if you call them how will it serve your long-term goal of getting them back?
What are you even going to say when they answer you?
That you will change?
You probably have already told them that.
That things will be different?
But how will they be different?
How much have you truly changed, so that there can be a difference?
In the most likely scenario...
Not enough.
You need to learn how to make your ex give up on all the negative memories and feelings about you while building real attraction back.
Words, gifts or love notes will NOT help you at this stage.
The proper way to move forward is to focus on yourself for now. Trust me, you will re-attract them later.
Don't pick up your phone right now, and buy yourself another day to re-shape how your ex feels about you, and re-build lost attraction.
Don't contact them yet, work on yourself first.
Cutting Of Reminders To Get Them Back Later
Simply, you want to give both yourself and your ex time to heal.
This process is made much easier if you have the courage to cut off all reminders of them.
Don't worry, this won't be permanent. Once you get them back you can open up the box where you shoved all the pictures and love letters again and they will still be there.
But, for now, I want you to heal and not be reminded of anything related to your ex so please for this temporary short period just cut off all that reminds you of your ex.
Employing No Contact
So, your next step should be to employ no contact. No contact means that you aren't going to have any communication with your ex for a period of time. Usually a month is sufficient.
You should read the article on what to do during no contact the get a full understanding of all the nits and grits that go into it.
I fully understand if you have doubts about it working but as I have mentioned elsewhere, it's one of the key components on the process of getting your ex back.
Anyone who claims not contacting your ex for a while is a bad strategy after a breakup just simply has no idea what they are talking about.
For this article, you need to just leave your doubts behind and trust me when I say this strategy works and you need it immediately.
No contact does work and it works damn effectively.
If you truly want your ex back you have to realize that right now what they need are space and time.
When your ex wants space and you do not give it to them, you are just going to push them away and never get them back.
Now, if you have already made some screw-ups before reading this article (begging them to take you back for example), don't panic.
All you need to do is send them a text where you apologize for your irrational behaviour and tell them that you will be working on yourself.
After that, you need to start no contact immediately.
And when I say no contact, I truly do mean no contact with very few exceptions.
If they ask you something where you absolutely must answer like "are you paying half of the water bill from last month?" then yes, it can be justified to break no contact but these instances are rare.
I want you to stay strong and resist the temptation of texting your ex late at night when you are missing them.
Also, please don't stalk them on social media or try to bump into them in person. You need to use your no contact time wisely.
How do you use it wisely then you ask?
Improve yourself.
Work on changing yourself back into that attractive person your ex fell for at the beginning of your relationship.
More on that in the next step.
Staying Busy
Now, if you have successfully started employing no contact, great job.
You now have time to focus on yourself and I have a valuable tip for you...
Try to stay as busy as you humanly can.
Filling out your calendar during no contact is an amazing decision.
Doing productive and fun things and occupying your time by improving yourself will not only take your mind off your ex but also improve your chances later to get them back.
I know you are probably thinking that self-improvement, like going to the gym or picking up a new hobby, is the last thing on your mind right now and that they will never make you stop missing your ex.
In all honesty though, staying as busy as possible during no contact is the absolute best possible thing for heartbreak.
The first month is when you are going to be feeling the most heartbroken and if you can use this time to improve your odds of getting them back later instead of dwelling in self-pity and sitting at the couch eating chocolate, you are going to be golden moving forward.
Don't get confused. By self-improvement I don't mean you need to make insanely drastic changes in your life and completely change your personality.
I mean doing small things. Things that make a difference. Maybe that means picking up some new clothes or perhaps a new haircut. Going to the gym won't hurt either.
So, where I'm getting at is that no matter how tempting laying under the blanket with a pic of your ex by your side might seem, please don't do things like that.
Go out with your friends or pick up another project at work. Just do whatever you can to stay busy.
I know it sounds cheesy but trust me, doing these things will help you in the long run.
Going out with family and friends might seem like the most unappealing thing in the world when you are dealing with a breakup but remember, you were ready to do whatever it took to get your ex back.
Filling out your social calendar during the next weeks is the best thing you can do for yourself.
If you get invited to a party, go! If your friend invites you to a hockey game next weekend, go!
Say "yes" to as many things as you can and reap the rewards later.
Try to enjoy your no contact time at least a little bit since it won't last forever.
Creating Jealousy In Your Ex To Get Them Back
Perception is everything when it comes to getting your ex back.
Right now your ex probably doesn't really see you as a high-value mate that they want to continue dating.
So, how do we change this?
The answer is simple but powerful...
Create jealousy in them.
Creating jealousy within your ex is one of the most powerful things you can do to get them back, but how do you do this?
Go on dates with other people as soon as you possibly can.
Now, before you flip out, you don't actually need to like the person you're going on a date with and you don't need to second date them.
Going on a date might seem crazy but hear me out...
You are just going out there and spending time with the opposite sex.
Now, this is a big step and it will make you seem a lot more "high value" in your ex's eyes since they are going to be seeing you thriving after the breakup with your self-improvement and hanging out with the opposite sex.
This is obviously just one of the many ways you can create jealousy in your ex.
Now, if you want to take things to the next level with this whole process of getting your ex back, I recommend reading The Best Way To Get Your Ex Back In 2019.
Pick a plan that best suits you from there and then stick to it and employ it to the tee. I guarantee you that if you do this, you will get them back.
How To Move Forward
Alright, you have read this article but what should you actually do now?
What I would highly recommend and what I would personally do in your situation is to follow a plan that's been designed to move from this point forward and reverse your breakup.
If you are someone who is actually serious about getting them back, I highly recommend that you follow a structured step by step breakup reverse plan that has already worked for thousands of men and women.
You see, by trying to figure out everything by yourself, you lower your chances of success dramatically since one simple mistake could ruin your chances of getting them back forever.
My top 2 recommendations for what you should follow next would hands down be either The Ex Factor Guide or Text Your Ex Back as I have had personal experience with both of them and I have found them extremely effective.
Down below, I have linked free video presentations of both of them. These videos are going to teach you the exact steps you need to take in order to get your ex back and some really sneaky psychological tricks I guarantee you, you have not heard anywhere else.
You can thank me later!
Watch the video.
All it comes down to is this: if you follow either of these programs to the tee, you will get your ex back no questions asked.
Choose your gender and watch the video.
By being taught step by step from start to finish you get a lot more in-depth and see all the nuances that go into reversing a breakup, since after all it is a very complicated process.
Anyway, that's all for today folks, and I really hope I helped you out with your struggle in this article.